Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
