I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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