I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
They have beer where we have blood.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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