All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
