i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
