If i come over, it means nothing
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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