She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My cat gives me a boner
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
