This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
