4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
