he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
