Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
