Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
