Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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