are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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