And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sorry about my life...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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