her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
