He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
All the doctor said was why
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
