I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize