I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
