my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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