Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
