I'm jealous of your bromance
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
