Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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