I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize