OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
