yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
