oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
