Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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