i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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