Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
