Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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