im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Randomize
