This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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