How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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