reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How external is "for external use only"?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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