Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
