I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You can't just leave with hair like that
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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