U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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