There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
