She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
