She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
