so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
