I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
