Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
