is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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