when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
