I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
