do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
