just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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