Already got asked if we're dating
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
