I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
