Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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