I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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