Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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